“You’re nearly there.” “Keep doing what you’re doing.” “Next round, definitely.” For many capable people, this is the soundtrack of their mid-career. The feedback is warm and well meant. It is also, very often, a polite way of saying nothing at all.
The cost isn’t the delay itself. It’s that each round of “nearly” resets the clock without changing anything you can act on.
Why managers say it
Most managers don’t use the phrase to mislead. They use it because they genuinely like your work, don’t control the final decision, and don’t want to discourage you. Sometimes they also don’t know precisely what’s missing, because nobody has told them either.
Understanding this changes how you respond. Instead of hearing a judgement on you, you can treat “nearly ready” as an incomplete brief and ask for the rest.
Ask for the gap, in writing
The next time you hear it, try: “That’s good to hear. What specifically would you need to see from me to say I’m ready, and by when?” Then listen, take notes, and send a short summary afterwards.
Encouragement feels good. Specifics get you promoted.
If the answer is still vague, ask for an example: someone who was promoted recently, and what they were doing that you aren’t yet. Comparisons can feel uncomfortable, but they’re often the fastest route to something concrete.
Look for the hidden criteria
Sometimes the real gap isn’t in your work at all. Common unwritten criteria include:
Visibility with people two levels above you.
Evidence of leading without formal authority.
A senior sponsor who will argue for you when you’re not there.
Being seen as someone who can represent the team externally.
None of these show up in a list of objectives, yet they quietly shape most promotion decisions. Naming them openly with your manager makes them something you can work on rather than something you sense.
Set your own deadline
Decide privately how many more cycles of “nearly” you’re willing to accept. For some people, the answer is one. For others, it depends on what else they’re learning and how much they enjoy the role. The important thing is that it’s a choice, not a drift.
If that deadline arrives and nothing has moved, you’ll be able to make a calm decision: escalate, change teams, or look elsewhere. Any of those is better than waiting another year for a door that may not be designed to open.
Sarah Lane
Career and executive coach in London. I help people at a turning point decide their next move, and then make it.
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